Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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