and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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