That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
