My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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