another moral hangover. fuck.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Randomize