Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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