The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
