It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
