He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
