If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Im just a social blackout drinker.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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