I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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