Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
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He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
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You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.