dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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