Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
