He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
