yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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