A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We are all done wearing pants today
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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