Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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