Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
