I want to stick my p in your. b.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i drank out of a bidet.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
