even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
