you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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