U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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