on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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