Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
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i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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