respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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