Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
