We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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