I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
