Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
