Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
