Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
