Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
