just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize