6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
