Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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