But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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