im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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