Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
