Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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