oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
