Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Randomize
