saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
