What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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