I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
