found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
