I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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