I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
