just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
