yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
