something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
