I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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