OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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