Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
