Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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