So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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