Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
