My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
