I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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