I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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