think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
