I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
