i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
