D3 body, D1 cock
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
