Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize