So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i believe in u and ur pee
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
