my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
