im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
