i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize