Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
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He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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