he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
love makes seman taste better
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
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My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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